I remember who we are.

And I know you know it, too.

Even in this strange parentheses of time

Its the underlying movement;

eternal motions of our love.

Our hope.

Our everlasting piece of eternity here on earth.

Peace?

Midnight or passing three a.m.

This night is darker than I ever could remember.

Roads wind familiarly to places long forgotten

and a startled recognition that walking away

could never be so clean

... or easy as it seemed.

Finally, I breathe.

Finally... release.

Finally, your face regains it's rightful place in memory.

Darling, tonight we tried but we failed to see the lighting.

Rest in...

Go in...

Peace finds you when it's over.

three small words

baby i would have loved to take that flight

with you, down to that ocean getaway

to that island in the sun, romantic stay awake

but what comes easily to me

is not just 1, 2, 3, believe and you shall see

i still need the 1, 2, 3 steps that make up the in between

baby i would have loved to play that song

for you, i wrote so you could fall in love

a note for every word, a word for every hum

but what comes naturally to me

is not the 1, 2, 3, everything comes out so easily

i still need the 1, 2, 3 steps to teach me how to sing

baby i would have loved to laugh all night with you

kissed and made up after that fight with you

talked of life inside and out with you

but baby what made scared to me

was the 1, 2, 3 reasons why dad could just get up and leave

i still need 1, 2, 3 breaths to find serenity

baby i’d love the chance to prove

that ocean parkways never end

that yes, we have the same thing drawn inside our eyelids

but now its much too late, it seems

its been 1, 2, 3, too many days since you’ve been close to me

i still have 1, 2, 3 words i feel the need to say....

Better off

"Fly me away,"

...all I used to know how to say

"Take me away. Let what may be, let it be."

But not until it happened to me

Frightened and Afraid

Isolated and Away

All the fears will come out

When you try to sort them out

Seeking a way to grow up and change

But innocence is lost with every passing day

"Take me home. I want what I know"

A little girl will plead,

"I don't want to be here, but I want to be free!"

You need to stay for any of it to change,

"Well, then I think I want it to all be the same."

"I want to know the names of all the places that I go,

And all the faces that I see,

Even if that means that I'll give up this part of me,"

"Okay, I've decided. There's nothing left to say."

Take a deep breath. Take it step by step.

Take it to the end

Take it even when it bends around the corner

Where the unknown is next.

This is best... This is best...

the shelter of my single bed

cold, shudder

cuddle under covers

bury into me

(don't even leave your feet free)

breathe in the night

breathe in the sight of you

closed eyes, tight for the light of dreams to shine through

(to guide you, nevermind you, its all unconcious anyway)

we begin again today and tomorrow and the next

until goodbye is just a mornings breath

not a whisper in the night

between the blinking of four eyes at rest

snow falls

your branches wind upwards

falling toward the sky

a field of green at your feet

reflecting moonlight on a barren tree

nighttime in a scene

roots underground a grassy green

burrowing low to wait for spring

may you rise again in morning

(untitled)

To Infinity & Beyond

Along Roads & Boundaries

From All of Us to You.

This is wherever we go.

You are what we know.

Trickle of a tear

Stream lines running down

Take us nowhere

Okay, say you're sorry

Say you thought you had enough

Enough is something you can never get enough of

Never grasp it all in one bunch

Like flowers on a special day

Like the Valentine who always owned your name...

Okay that's enough now

I think we've all learned how

I think it's really over now

Just say goodbye before you leave

Just tip your hat on your way out,

If you could, Please.

Let her know it's not her fault

Let her know it was you who couldn't finish what you started

Run like a boy chasing after that kite

Just know that it was never the height that made it all worthwhile.

It's the here to there that you couldn't understand

You're staring at your hands, but it's all up in the air.

(If you're looking at clear air, then it's right there in your hands.)

(untitled)

TWIST TIME INTO PRETZELS

LET IT ALL UNWIND

TAKE OUT ALL THE STAPLES

KEEPING EVERYTHING TOGETHER

THROW IT ALL INTO THE FIRE

LET IT BURN INTO THE NIGHT

DONT STOP TO CHECK THE WIRE

BEFORE YOU DIAL FOR CONNECTION

shoelaces

I've been watching myself stumble,

Watching myself fall

Tripping over shoelaces

'Cause I've forgotten how to tie them up at all

Mommy, can't you see

I've already skinned both knees

And if you could kiss my head,

Maybe I could get up and try again

But like a bike with two flat tires

There's no getting from here to there

I'm waiting in the driveway

And I can't help but stare

At the others always moving

They are always on their way

Please tell them I feel sick today,

I can't come out to play...

A Beautiful Mistake...

a beautiful mistake

is not a mistake at all

the beauty in the world

is in the way

it isn't understood at all

home run

good morning and good night. i’m covering my bases

right now we’re trying to live our lives together,

though we’re located in different places

i’m filling up the pages. and i’m dreaming in my sleep.

i’m keeping you in mind and writing down my every line

until this journey is complete

this is all so sentimental. this is all so utterly surreal.

this country’s opening my eyes to mornings i never realized could be true

with horizons just past the windows, the sun keeps shining in my eyes

and the darkness keeps reminding me, "without me there is no light"

so baby, this desire is just a wave i’m using to get me through

until the next morning when i’m lying close, and waking next to you

your sun right now is rising, while mine has long been set

let me take this time, and i’ll tell you why

i’m saying good morning and goodnight.

sun and sand

(or The Sea Tumbles)

sun and sand for a delicate hand

to hold

and to show

the way she would go

away from this place

and her face remains still

under his will

she will cry

but she’ll learn how to fly

to try this time

to count breaths that speak why

tired eyes cant keep closed

from what he doesn’t know

the weight of the world

the growing up of a girl

or the rise of a chest

of a quickly drawn breath

before she speaks

the angels will keep watch

they will weep

their tears will replace, restore, and create

her masterpiece, her love,

and every moment of

hurt she bears

unaware of a reason, a meaning

a love worth a smile

a heart worth keeping

snapshot

Photographs laugh and photographs play

And photographs show us the paths that we’ve paved

They take us through turns in the lives that we’ve chose

And show us the roads over which the sun and moon rose

The faces inside the white boundary lines

That giggle or stare...

The faces outside the glossy paper sides

Which froze as they posed...

For a flittering moment

For a flash of existence

Persistent, resilient

Photographs look and photographs talk

And photographs are memories of miles we’ve walked

They might twist, they might turn

They might crumble or fade

As we’ve stumbled or burned

For the choices we’ve made

And at us they shine

In their own precious ways

To tell us of why

We are who we are today

B RE A K DO W N

Break down.

This is the feeling of your every day to day

But it's worth more than throwing away

Afraid. Contained. Blamed.

These are the words you feel in your veins

But it's helping to get you to be proud of your name

Today, let the sun rise behind that dark cloud

And it's okay, if the rain should come down

It washes away the rust that is left

Underneath, a soul, so different from the rest

Ready to speak, to tell all the world

Beautiful, Radiant, So full of Truth

Please, you must realize you've got nothing to lose

And everything you can gain

And all the things you can do

The love that you feel that comes from within you

Don't let you shake, Don't let you break

There's more here to see than just what's at stake

Breakdown.

This is the time to pick yourself up

And now is the time to get rid of "if only" and "but"

Arise. Take pride. Never do hide.

Inside, I see your heart is as mine.

Its worth saving for after the storm.

hate to leave

I hate to leave you so early in the morning

But responsibility is always calling my name

There are things that I must do today

Though I wish you could be there too, someway…

Warm in bed, dreams running through your head

You’ll run through mine until I’m home again

Over the Turnpike

sunlight over the turnpike reminded me of you.

but then again, most other things do too...

like, the color of the sky today,

or the song that is about to play

from speakers that always sing your name.

and i hope you saw that star tonight,

the one that reminded me of the look in your eyes.

and that photo made me think of your smile

because even though i haven't seen it in awhile,

i find your picture in every frame.

On eagles wings.

Tears of faith or tears of sadness?
They line up like the people in the pews, ready to spew. One by one, trying to conceal their doom from a God that never cared anyway. A master who keeps track of your lacking mistakes. Tells you of hell, but promises to receive you at heaven’s gates. But wait, not if you happened to forget to repent for being gay? He’s got you in the palm of his hands, but he can’t lend you a hand to let you in for a sin you never did commit? Don’t worry, he’s not worthy to receive you, so only say the word and you shall be healed.

Shocking to say, this all leads to a faith; a game where there is no blame for the events of a day.

A confessional explanation and the price that you pay?
The way a child learns to fold his hands when he prays. The way his knees are sore from having kneeled for too long, waiting for the end of a church organ’s song.
So where was the love in books piled up of hymnals and songs to the one who would give it all up for petty little us? Your people are sinners but what have they done? Forgive them the lives they have chosen and won? That message is blurred, misguided, perverse. There is so much more about your universe you’ve yet to have heard -- from the mouth of a bird; the mouth of a river; from a shiver only real truth could have given you. The truth they denied you; they stole it away with indulgence and hate, for the fear that you someday might have learned of their rage. That you’d make them pay for the lives that never needed to be saved anyway.

Well what does this mean?
How should we know when the lies from the Word is all the truth we’ve been told?
A search light is on, but no one is looking for home. Like the first pitch of a fist fight when you’re fighting alone. Left swinging at ghosts: at the emptiness of what you were supposed to have known -- what the scriptures have missed, of what must have been skipped, the secrets kept as you were taught to forget. An original sin to withhold what they know and point out the madness behind all that you don’t.

Now, there’s barely a hopeful note left in a tune from long ago -- from a prayer now layered under inches of cold snow. They taught you to bury the gift that you hold in order to keep you pleading their savior to free you -- from all that you could have been on your own.

Instead of making him a friend, they’ve taught you how to make him a foe.

The PERFECT opposition to a rudely HUMAN soul.

If only you had known, he was the mirror image of your soul; maybe you’d be able to love the life of your own. And maybe you could love the way you smile and the curve of your bones.

More happiness exists than you would otherwise know.

If you can hear this, then you’re calling. It’s time to come home.

On eagles wings. by Kimberly Manley is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

spare change

It’s a love you can’t stop

It’s a fight you can’t break up

When you’re losing it, you’re losing ground

And the fire shines behind your eyes

So deeply brown

I see your frown, and you’re upside down,

But this is time it’s just a trial

Trial by error or error by number

Fall in place until we break this blunder

And we’ll stand here like

We know what we want

And we know what we've got

We know what we gave

What we did with spare change

You never should have changed

So fast to forget the last,

The glass face from the past

The one left, the one gets

It’s time shattered into fragments

How could you have shamed it?

Blamed it on all the rain

It fell, down from the clouds

Soaked with the nothing you feel now

Its enough just to know how

So we can stand here like

We know what we want

Just to know what we’ve got

To know what we gave

What we did with spare change

But you’ll run away like

It’s not close to enough

Or near able to fill up

To keep it up to the top

Tears fall in drops, unable to stop

This fall, this plummet

It’s only a moment, frozen in time

Fragments of yours,

And not enough of mine

Tell them

Tell them I’m coming.

“Tell them that I’m going home tonight,” she said. And, “tell them everything that has been written by this hand.”

Make a note of this.

Keep it near to your dear chest

And take its meaning as the best that we will ever get.

Be here. Be now. Be close.

Be the one when everybody tries to be the most.

Be a soul. Be a light. Be truth.

Be yourself, the living proof.

Of all there is to offer and all there is to take

Don’t pass this by, or rush it off. And please don’t call it a mistake.

And, keep in mind that every time a birth occurs for you to see

There will surely be a wake upon which we learn to grieve.

It’s not that sadness comes around in hopes to knock you down

It only hopes that feet will rise above this broken ground.

(The angels never heard of how we were able to discriminate

They only learned the sound of love, of which to celebrate.)

So, “tell them that I’m going home tonight,” she said. "And tell them everything that has been written by this hand.”

“Make sure they read. Make sure they see.
The words that came from me.

So they can know, and they can show the others how to be.”

Be here. Be now. Be close.

Be one when everybody tries to be the most.

Be a soul. Be a light. Be truth.

Be yourself, the living proof.

Of all there is to offer and all there is to take

Don’t pass this by, or rush it off. And please don’t call it a mistake.

“I’m coming home tonight,” she said. “There is no need to wait.”

“I’ll ride the light to where they are, away from all this hate.”

Don’t pass this by, or rush it off. And please, don’t call it a mistake.

Be here. Be now. Be close.

Be one, while everybody tries to be the most.

the love you gave

The love you gave

And the love you save

Sometimes must drift apart

The time you spent

And the time you wept

Sometimes must fill your heart

But to each emotion there is a time

And to every reason there is a rhyme

For at the moment, you might not know it

But there was a choice to live right through it

A chance to learn, or a way to grow

Something for yourself you needed to know

The truth you’ll see

Is that you’re free

Though sometimes you feel bound in place

The day will come

And so will the sun

So don’t run from this time in haste

Your past is gone, so fleetingly fast

But your future has been made to last

So make of the present all that you can

And remember there is no good nor bad

You’ve simply changed from day to day

Trust that your heart already knows the way

Today, the three that she does miss

Fly by her side, each with a wish

For all of the love in the world

To find its way to their beautiful girl

As she makes the hardest decisions

And as she bears unwanted incisions

With a promise and a vow

They take the ones she can’t keep now

Under their wings to keep them safe

And on her shoulder she does place

Three stars to guide her on her way

If she should struggle through today

They pray that she may come to find

That beautiful woman who is inside

The one with all the love in the world

All grown up from that beautiful girl

Accessories

We are not our bodies. They are but canvasses upon which our souls paint discreet hints of what we could be if we were to look past the skin. The intention is for us to look past the skin.

"Gift of Paralysis" - Envy on the Coast

(http://myspace.com/envyonthecoast)

Hoping for Roses

In this nifty little room

With a bed built perfectly for two

The view only proves that

Everything false suddenly turned true

Open up the window

And a string falls down below

Speeding fast to stop upon a little hand

Bounding fast across the glittered sand

Fairytales built on pink and shining silver

For a maiden looking about for only rose and clover

Red and green for love and luck, deeper hues than those for lust

And a hand folds down, and around this finger’s bound

A bond with trust, no musts, no fuss

Wake up.

Tonight.

She’s hoping for roses

And pleading for meaning

Between the sheets

And the heavy pounding heart beats

Heart beats pound beneath the sheets

He knows.

Where fine lines are drawn life and death are sure to meet.
The knowledge of this tiny space, makes for heavy feet.

“When I die, make sure I look like me
But if I don’t, please, close the lid so that they cannot see”

A job perfected, a case finally complete
A man who knows what lies underneath
Those bulky cotton sheets
Outside, a shell is hard; Inside, a heart is soft
And behind brown eyes walls are built
To make it through without a mark

Another day, Another night
Another mournful, painful sight (to meet his eyes)
Another boy, another girl
Another tragedy uncurls

“When I die, make sure I look like me
But if I don’t, please, close the lid so that they cannot see”


This passing is not only for those grown old with age
Tiny fingers on tiny hands on tiny chests
Know how to fold in place
Shades of angry red, gray, and frozen blue
Color all the sights we wish he never knew

An artistic mind with an artistic eye
An artistic hand helps the ones that cry (tonight)
A singer’s voice, a singer’s face
A singer’s passion has been misplaced (this life)

“When I die, make sure I look like me
But if I don’t, please, close the lid so that they cannot see”


Please
Take away his pain and
Save him from bodies he will know
Keep him numb from all the blood and
Let him forget the stitches he will sow

Please
Take away his worries and
Save him from skin and bones
Wash the death from his dark eyes and
Keep him warm against their cold


“When I die, make sure I look like me
But if I don’t, please close the lid so that they cannot see”

Rain, Rain

I don’t know how much more I’d be willing to take

It’s taken so long to finally get to this place

Your message, it fails

Its miserable words fall terribly short

Of something, of anything,

Slightly even reasonably,

True

It got stuck, it fell flat, it never got up

Off that pedestal you keep only big enough for you

So keep quiet, please don’t move

Honesty never had anything to prove

Honesty never was your strong suit

So please keep quiet, and please don’t move

If you’re looking for answers, I silently refuse

I don’t hide, I won’t lie, I’ve got nothing to lose

You’re too much to handle, Its too much to take

I’ve driven the long road to get to this place

So, Keep it simple, and keep to yourself

Don’t lend a hand and please don’t help

Take a step forward, no please, take a step back

It’s easy to remember everything that you lack

Missing you? I’m wishing you’d stay far enough away

Like rain, rain, oh please go away

And oh, please don’t come back on any other day

Missing me? You’re wishing we’d make it some way

But like the rain, rain, I’ve gone away to stay

And oh, please, don’t think I’ll be back on any other day

TRIANGLES

As I place each puzzle piece

Of who I’ve become to be

I can’t hide or help but realize...

You lent your heart in order to shape

Each jagged jigsaw piece

Slowly creating the frame

Carefully carving each

Not knowing it would fill in without you

You were the one rounded edge

In a box full of pointed sides

And at the end you just couldn’t fit

With the rest of the others…

They all formed straight lines

You would complete a circle perfectly well

And slide in between half moons with ease

But for a box or a square, you bend too much

Your shape only fits after a fight and a fuss

But with grace and with thanks

I acknowledge your place

Outside this beautiful picture…

Its pieces were perfectly made

Its parts would be puzzled without you

walk with me

Take my hand and walk with me

I have something you need to see

In this space where nothing is as it seems

A sight that only he could dream

And as far as it is from us today

Once and for always, its moment, will be.

Let us swim to another time

Through faith and humanity

To a new memory of yours and mine

A pure illusionary reality

In this life so few truths are truly free

And lies bound us to see

Only the differences between you and me

A hope for love, for peace, for truth

And for life extinct of personal abuse

Of all the distortions we use to diffuse

The blame, the game, and responsibility too

Look into me, into you, today

And see how his dream lives, In you and in me

A dream that only he could seem

To manifest, What you and I were meant to be

And how we shall live and die eternally

Free from fear, from doubt, from poverty

Of mind, of body, of stars in the sky

Where you’ll find there is but always time

So as far as the stars may seem to be

Heaven exists for you to create today

Awaits in you as it waited for me

To find, to shine, in its beautiful way

For if it feels much too far from you today

Remember, it once and for always, will be.